Etched Deeply in My Heart and Mind by Centaur When did I start liking Connie Chan? Well, given the fact that my mother was an avid opera lover and a fan of Yam Kim Fai, as a child I was her constant companion whenever she went to the movies. Undoubtedly, I first saw Connie in one of these movies. She was still very young and raw, but had plenty of potential even then. I remember laughing and crying during these shows, laughing at her good fortune and crying at her misery. As Cantonese opera movies slowly died out, wuxia movies took over. Because of her great cross-gender acting—so much like her teacher Yam Kim Fai—Connie Chan became the hero of many of these shows. I watched her growing up, and it was not long before she blossomed into a pretty young lady. It was a joy to have discovered such a gem. Connie came to Singapore in the late 60s and I met her twice in person, only just to shake her hand. Ah… I still remember the moments I touched her hand. I had to push my way to the front of the crowd. I stared hard as she came along the side; she was so friendly and always smiling. I stuck out my hand and she took it gently. That was the first time I touched her hand. I was so dumbstruck that I stood there looking like a fool. The second time, I was a lot wiser from the first experience. I made sure I was there ahead of the crowd. When she came along with her entourage, again I stuck out my hand to her and again she smiled as she shook my hand, but this time I refused to let go—until someone by her side said loudly, “Let go of her! Let go of her!” Reluctantly, I released her hand. I wonder if I had not let go, I might have made the front page news for being such a crazy fan! I doubt she even recalled seeing me in the midst of the huge crowd, but it was enough for me. Connie toured with a couple of shows, Teenage Love and Young, Pregnant and Unmarried. I watched Teenage Love twice, just for the chance of seeing her entering and leaving the theatre. I also watched Young, Pregnant and Unmarried three times in the cinema, and a few more times on television (that was in the days when we still could watch Cantonese movies in Singapore). The cost of a cinema ticket then was inexpensive, but to a student without any regular income, it was a fortune to spend on watching the same show over and over again. Once, a friend visited from Hong Kong and she brought with her… Connie’s address! Actually, it was just her fan club address, but it was such a treasure for me. It was not easy coaxing the information out of her. I forget what favors I had to do to get it. Sadly, because my command of Chinese was so bad, I never did dare to write Connie, even though I had her precious address. I continued to watch Connie’s movies; there were times when I’d skip my school’s extracurricular activities just to watch her show. One day, I went to watch I’ll Get You One Day. I remember it was a rainy day, and being a student, taking a taxi was a luxury. I saw the minutes ticking away as I waited and waited for the bus to come. Finally, I decided not to wait anymore and hailed a taxi so I could get to the cinema in time for the show. I told the taxi driver the theatre I wanted to go to and said that I wanted to watch a Connie Chan show. I remember him teasing me for being such a crazy Connie fan and telling me that he was glad I was not his daughter! I endured his teasing all through the journey, as all I cared was that I get to the cinema in time. Connie Chan’s image was etched deeply in my heart and mind. After her retirement it took a long time before I got over the fact that I would never see her again in the movies. It was only with the arrival of talents like Anita Mui and Karena Lam that the pain of my loss was assuaged a little. The moment it was announced that Connie would return to the stage, I kept looking out for her shows and activities. Now that Connie is back on the scene, I know that the wild days are here again! After a long retirement, Connie Chan is back on the scene!